Understanding Adversity in Life

“When life hits you without warning, it’s the memory of your scars that teaches you the right answer.”

I never understood why, in some cases, things go wrong for no apparent reason.I mean… you didn’t change, the world didn’t change, you apparently didn’t do anything awkward or wrong, and bang — you’re suddenly hit by a train in flames. Right in your face. That’s life… and that’s dentistry.

This Thursday, I found myself not on the railway of the hell train, but in a situation where I could finally understand why these things happen.I called it the “Slumdog Millionaire Day” (yes, like the movie).

Remember when that Oscar-winning Indian masterpiece came out? I remember it perfectly because I had been to India once, and that movie transported me back in seconds — the streets of Delhi, the mountains of Kashmir, the Bollywood chaos of Bombay, and the Taj Mahal… oh my God, the Taj Mahal. Seeing it live was overwhelming.

But that’s not why I’m bringing the movie in. It’s because the main character wins a million rupees by answering correctly all 15 questions, and the core idea is that experience is the mother of all knowledge. He hit every answer because life had already taught him each one: religion, deception, poverty, places, pain. A remarkable movie for me.

Back to my story.

My daughter Sofia came to me saying that one of her friends told her that another girl said that one of her best friends was speaking badly about her.A crazy chain, hein?Only in adolescence.(Actually… I miss those times.)

She came for advice on how to solve the chain.

And immediately my mind travelled back to my own adolescence — to a day from hell.

I had a girlfriend who, imagine this, cheated on me… with an older university professor. Crazy world.

It was a normal spring day, and I received a phone call from an unknown number. Remember that around 2003 the Nokia 3310 was the thing, but terrible at recognizing contacts.

On the other side of the line was a woman in shock — a voice I will never forget. Tears, anger, despair. Even writing this today, I can still hear her. She told me she was the wife of that professor. Mother of three children. And her husband was having an affair with my 20-year-old girlfriend.

How sick and unbelievable is this?

Looking back now — with three kids of my own, about the same age she probably had at the time — I can’t even imagine the pain that woman must have gone through.I never met her again, but I wish I had, just to say thank you for that call.

Well… on my side it wasn’t pleasant either.But when you’re 20, in university, living at your parents’ house, no kids, no responsibilities… you move forward easily.Still… the shock stays.

How could I face everyone with the information she gave me?

I decided to pretend that it was so absurd, so out of the box, that it couldn’t possibly be true. So I went to my girlfriend and said:

“Look at this unbelievable story… this crazy wife of our teacher says you’re having an affair with him?”

My strategy was simple:If I presented it as something impossible, maybe her reaction could tell me the truth.Sure, I could call the lady again… or confront the cheating professor… but going to the source felt like the best way.

When I confronted her, she immediately looked down and turned red. In that moment, I knew.

Game over.

And I never understood why that had happened.

Until today.

Because when Sofia asked for advice, and I looked at that enormous chain of people involved, a light bulb switched on — Slumdog style, Question Number 3.

“Wait… I know this one.I lived this one.”

So I told Sofia my story.

She proudly, and with a bit of irony, went to her best friend. But in her case (she had more luck than me), the information was false, the chain collapsed, the liars were revealed, and the friendship came out stronger.

And in dentistry?

There are situations you’ve already lived that silently shape the decisions you make. Yes, you can know your literature — and you should — but often the truth comes from:

“What your past experience made you feel… not what others wrote in a study.”

I’m not saying we shouldn’t rely on evidence-based dentistry. But the Slumdog expertise is also critical.

Think about this:

Something bad that you live today will be the experience that helps you choose wisely tomorrow. And the moment will hit you when you least expect it.